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athgarvan

'BORING' MARRIAGE?

As a bachelor may I express a thought or two about 'boring' marriages? As for other individuals or groups, couples can find the daily routine - washing up, putting out bins, school runs, hoovering - synonymous with boredom. But repetitive habits like these can actually be something positive in daily married life. Routine allows us to do things without thinking, or rather, to do things while thinking of something else.

Habits and routines allow a couple to establish certain points of reference. These can bring their own little rituals - a cup of tea, a drink, a chat about how one's day went.  Little rituals like that help couples to unwind. There's a certain comfort to returning home after a stressful day and letting go, without having to prove oneself.

Like a fragile balancing act, routine and its little ways can also wear a couple down. A couple also needs novelty in their relationship. This allows the couple to be themselves in an authentic relationship. Routine is a challenge for the couple to love each other more. Perhaps happiness can even be found in the very routine itself? It is said that love is more profound when it’s rooted in rituals.

If a couple sees its daily chores as irksome or restrictive, then that’s what they’ll end up being. They need to ask themselves occasionally what these activities contribute to their lives together. While trying to cope with children, etc., spouses also need to make time for each other as a couple, to be entirely available for each other.

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