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A Thought . . .

Does a man's view and understanding of the world change when he has a daughter, especially a teenage daughter?


There's been considerable discusson of this elsewhere and in some cases, the man seems to become a control freak and neanderthal in a way he wouldn't with sons although there are some splendid fathers of daughters out there too.
I would imagine that when boy-friends appear on the scene a man quickly forgets his own youth.

Or is the change more obvious when his son starts cavorting with females? No girlfriend could ever reach his new-found exalted standards.
Actually, I think men remember their own youth. All to vividly. Then they think of a young man doing those things WITH THEIR DAUGHTER!

At least that's how the over-protective ones appear to think.
You're probably right.
As a mother and an author, I tell people it was no coincidence I started writing horror when my girls become teenagers ... However my girls were fortunate. Their father shut down emotionally, and wasn't capable of dealing with his little girls growing up; but their stepfather was always a steady person to talk to who could give them honesty and humour. As they got older their father came out of his funk, and now they have the best of both worlds again :)
It must be traumatic for both mothers and fathers nowadays.
I'm not sure I'd call it traumatic, but it was hard sometimes to stand back and let them make their own mistakes. To trust that I had taught them what they needed to know to guide their way through. The journey was most definitely worth it though. I now have two wonderful adult daughters who choose to spend time with me, and share their lives and hopes and dreams with me as a matter of course.
I have nothing to offer from practical experience.
I am the mother of a grown son. He never gave us any problems or worry.
However, as much as I would have liked to pass on my maternal heritage, which is strong, I always said I thought I would be a better mother to a son. My opinions of how a woman should be are too strong and probably would have clashed with a daughter. All that pink princess stuff is so not me. lol
My experience is that it rips you apart emotionally and leaves you alternately devastated and exhilarated. And you spend the rest of your life with that part of your soul aching like a walking corpse. But totally worth it. Rather like fighting in WWII I imagine.
Interesting view.
I have a healthy, non-smothering relationship with my dad, and he's never acted over-protective, just supportive. I believe this is also down to the fact that we share many tastes and hobbies, mostly of the geeky kind. For example, when the BFI hosted a 50 years of sci-fi on British TV festival, it meant that we both had someone to go with instead of wandering off to London alone.

However...I suspect that in a corner of his soul I will be Daddy's Little Princess now and forever.
I am female and childless but from watching my brother with his daughter, I'd say yes. She's still very young but he no longer seems to write off the entire gender as useless.
I'm not married or have daughters but watching my teenage grandnieces I think fathers would need very deep pockets.

I'm reminded of the ad on TV where a man and his three daughters are sitting on a couch. One says 'I've an iphone', another says 'I've an ipad,' the third says 'I've an ipod,' and the father quips and 'I've paid!'
For twenty years now I've been hearing excited feminists saying, "The men with daughters are Getting It now!"

I am also feminist, and sometimes excited. Just not by this. "By gum," says I, "how foolish we were to keep men from having daughters, all those centuries!"
Think of China.
I have begun to think of China, and would love to know what your thinks are.

What occurs to me is that one's framing of having a daughter makes a tremendous difference, as is whether and how one is open to new information. So that, in the tradition in which a daughter is regarded as an unfortunate mishap, an actual living daughter could be a revelation, or might never be regarded as human.

And then I try to think of China in the context of so many of the comments you've received: how a father takes the increasing sexual agency, or increasing sexual consumability, of a daughter. Try, but don't get much of anywhere.

What did you have in mind?
Probably changes.

However I grew up with sisters (beneficial though not all good--two OLDER sisters), so I've always had a +/- 1/2 female outlook on things...

So far they aren't teenagers yet; we'll see how I handle that!
If it does, then it was skewed to begin with.
I think everyone's views and understanding of the world change frequently. I know my views on many things have changed a lot from having children. They aren't even teens yet.